Goals for January?...Groundbreaking
The Check In 042
Hi! Checking in. How are you… really?
My heart is with LA. It aches for those experiencing unimaginable loss and is filled with gratitude for the firefighters and first responders risking everything to protect what remains. LA, your bravery and resilience are extraordinary, and your strength is humbling.
Even in the face of devastation, there is light: community. I’ve been profoundly moved by the kindness and solidarity that have emerged. Communities—near and far, local and digital—are stepping up with generosity and support. It’s in these consistent acts of care that hope begins to take root and rebuilding becomes possible.
Last week, as I was glued to my phone I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t doing enough. But this sentiment really stayed with me:
With that in mind, I’m sharing this incredible list of resources from Mutual Aid LA, along with GoFundMe pages that are less than 20% funded.
Below is the newsletter I had planned to send last week. My hope is that it serves as a gentle reminder to move forward from a place of love—whether by being vulnerable enough to receive it or courageous enough to share it
Confession: This isn’t what I originally planned to send. I had drafted something about the rituals, practices, and—let’s be honest—the pressure of starting a new year. As I reread my draft, I couldn’t help but think (cue Miranda Priestly voice): “Goals for January? Groundbreaking.”
I figured maybe a little space and editing would fix it, but no. As I stared at the screen, trying to figure out what wasn’t working, these thoughts started swirling:
Go back to it—you need a newsletter to kick off the year.
You don’t need to send anything that doesn’t feel right.
Done is better than perfect.
Quality over quantity.
But maybe it’ll resonate with someone.
This internal tug-of-war was in full swing, rationalizing both sending and not sending the draft. Before I knew it, my brain was hijacked. This is usually where I freeze—do nothing and feel dissatisfied. But this time, I caught myself. I took a few deep breaths and turned to one of my favorite tools: a simple yet profound question that slows thought spirals, quiets overthinking, and prevents analysis paralysis.
"Am I doing this out of love, or out of fear and/or obligation?"
Fear often drives our actions without us realizing it—whether it’s fear of judgment, fear of not being enough, or fear of letting someone down. It fuels the need for external validation and creates pressure to perform. The tricky thing is, that fear often disguises itself as “logic” or “responsibility.” This question invites you to pause, step off autopilot, and reconnect with what feels truly aligned and supportive.
When I applied this question to the draft, I realized fear was driving me—fear of not doing enough, fear of judgment from myself and others, fear of seeming disengaged. Once I saw that, it became clear: I didn’t want to send something just because it’s January. I wanted to share something meaningful.
The more I use this question, the more I recognize what coming from love feels like: easeful, exciting, and light—it just flows. Fear, on the other hand, feels forced, heavy, and draining. Even the language shifts. Love sounds clear and energized, while fear is full of "shoulds" and "have tos."
Using this question and tuning into these cues has helped me make some of my biggest decisions. It’s encouraged me to leave relationships and jobs that felt comfortable but didn’t truly align. It’s also pushed me to move through fear and share my true feelings and thoughts, even when I was afraid of upsetting someone or being ridiculed. Coming from a place of love and support for myself made those choices clear, even when they weren’t easy and allowed me to act, even when I was terrified.
As we move into this year, remember: there’s no "right" way to navigate it. But I’ve found that when you act from a place of love, the path forward isn’t just clearer—it feels like yours. And that, in my opinion, is sincerely groundbreaking.
With gratitude,
Alexandra
www.coachingbyaw.com
IG: @coaching_by_aw
✍️ How are you starting the year? Have you been reflecting on whether your actions come from love or fear? I’d love to hear—reply and share your thoughts!
📩 If this resonated with you, share it with a friend who might appreciate it!